Ash the Mighty

Effing EVERYONE that I work with is breaking up. Seriously. If I was in a relationship at all I would be absolutely paranoid that I would be next. As it is, I feel a little bad, like maybe on some level I caused it, or that at the very least I was that little starting pebble in the grand avalanche which is the disaster of my department’s love life. At one point in time not too long ago (OK, like four or five months ago) there was maybe one or two single people in my department. Now I believe there is maybe one or two people still in relationships.

And we’re not just talking little breakups here. We’re talking live in fiances splitting. Messy divorces (and/or people TALKING divorce). Things of that nature. It’s getting plain ol’ eerie.

Lately I also feel like I shouldn’t so much be getting paid for my expertise with computers as with my mad relationship skillz. Not that I mind trying to help people out, of course. It’s just yet another thing that I have to privately have a chuckle about, that the guy who can’t get a girl to stick around to save his soul is still really pretty decent at helping with other peoples’ love life. Story of my freakin’ life.

So THAT’S fun.

~A.

So-random-confession-in-hopes-that-I-will-actually-start-blogging-again: The one and only reason that I ever hope to get a raise in this world is so that I can buy more toys. Seriously, I know that that’s the end result for pretty much everyone, but I actually set out to get promotions and whatnot because I feel some vague need to buy something expensive which I will love with all my heart right up until I put it down one day and it turns into another Dust Gathering Item.

I need a hobby.

Ooooooh, I bet I could buy stuff for that!

~Ash.

P.S. So the iSlate (or iPad or iTablet) is (probably) being announced tomorrow. And yes, I am totally considering applying for a promotion. Don’t you judge me, Frozen Iguana.

I happened to be at work and noticed this article on the BBC, which talks about how the Black Watch (which has a long, and not-always-glorious-at-all tradition, but is now kindof the symbolic Scottish regiment) has returned from their tour of duty in Afghanistan.

They are being welcomed back to their native country with parades through several different cities and in the article itself on an INTERNATIONAL NEWS SOURCE the regiment was able to list their dead and tell the world of their accomplishments. For the record, there were five dead out of over 400 soldiers (400 are marching in the parade, I can only imagine that there were more serving) and their accomplishments were quite in order with what even a cynic such as I would imagine of a people who had fought off superior forces of invaders for their entire history.

It would be so incredibly wonderful if we as a country would even be able to do such a thing. To welcome home OUR soldiers with parades across the country. To be able to succinctly list our dead as the heroes that they are and celebrate theirs and their brethren’s amazing feats of daring and strength and (hopefully) nobility in combat as they come home to not have to leave again.

Ah, if only!

Just thought I’d share. Happy Holidays everyone.

~Ash.

So I went to see the Phantom of the Opera play at Grady Gammage Auditorium in Tempe tonight with a friend of mine, Mary who I know through both Faire and Southwest Shakespeare Company (it should be noted also that she is a Theatre Major). While I was on my way, I saw a tweet from a friend of mine from work saying that he would be there too. As such things go, I didn’t think much of it, because without fail, even in an auditorium which seats several thousand, I knew I’d run into him. It’s just the way of things.

I met up with Mary and we had a great dinner at Rula Bula, and then headed over. We got there just in time to get into our seats (which were AMAZING. Row 10, dead center. THANKS MOM!!!) and during intermission, sure enough, my friend Dante was just four rows behind us and a bit stage right. We really only waved because we’re classy like that and don’t shout (totally being ironic here. Were this the MAC I would totally have shouted, but I had a suit on for Chrissakes).

Here’s the point to all this rambling. As intermission was coming to a close, I get a text from Dante asking if we wanted to go backstage after the show. Wha- wha- WHA–?!? It turns out his parents are stage hands for the production and his dad is a master carpenter. So in short the answer is “HELLS YEAH!!” I think Mary would have choked me out then and there if I had answered anything different.

Mary and me in front of the Chandelier which figures in the famous . . . DISASTER.

So after the INCREDIBLY well acted and sung production (seriously, I would say one of the best Phantoms and Raouls I’ve ever seen), we met up with Dante and his grandmother (his date. Awwww. No, really. I think that’s a really good thing for someone to do) and we trooped on backstage, where I learned all sorts of just fascinating tidbits which I wanted to record.

• Phantom is the longest running Broadway play in history. It has never gone dark. But that means it has ALSO never been updated. So it is running on all the same technology as when it first started. The state-of-the-art technology that it was designed around 20 plus years ago must now be custom repaired at great expense because it simply doesn’t exist anywhere else in the world anymore.
• The boat is remote controlled. I always thought it was on a track. The remote control is the size of a large lunchbox.
• All stage hands, even locals, are in full costume. When the elephant turns around and there are people drinking inside? Local stagehands who helped push it out in the first place.
• Carlotta’s costume for the “Hannibal” scene weighs in excess of 70 lbs.
• The touring show has twenty-one (that’s a two and a one) semis to bring sets/costumes, etc from town to town.
• There are two sets of several set pieces so that one set can go in advance to the next town and construction can begin because it is so complicated.
• I love this show even more now having seen just how much WORK goes into it. It is IN. TENSE.

Just had to share and remember some of this stuff. Thanks for letting me ramble a bit. Oh, and Mary and Dante (and Dante’s folks — sorry I’ve forgotten your names — ), you guys absolutely made my week! Thanks a million!!

~Ash.

I’m not saying that I actively despise flying, but that’s only because I’m sitting here hoping to be able to do so in the very near future and I don’t really want to piss off whichever god happens to preside over heavier-than-air travel (and yes, there MUST be a god of it, because I still maintain that it just shouldn’t be possible). But I will say that I would rather be pretty much anywhere else at this moment, up to and including seeing a doctor . . . and we ALL know how much I enjoy those.

Why do I hate it so much? Well besides the afore-mentioned fact that it just shouldn’t work, there’s the fact that it frequently DOESN’T. I’m not talking about planes falling out of the sky or anything (though that happens too, and I’m not thrilled about it). I’m talking more about the alarming regularity in which travelers (you know, just like me) find themselves stranded in random airports all across the country/globe, with nothing to do but sit in incredibly uncomfortable plastic chairs and just kinda stare at each other.

Now I admit that it’s hard to place blame on any human the issues that we’re having here. Parts of Colorado have had in excess of 30 inches of snow in 2 days, and so it’s hard to keep an international airport open and functioning at capacity in those circumstances. That said, the woman who is sitting next to me had her flight routed TO here from their original layover destination of Las Vegas. Just checked the weather, there are no issues there. I mean, it could be there were security or other unknown issues with that airport, but really? REALLY? When there’s a state-closing blizzard going on that is stranding people and canceling flights? You re-route here?

OMFG. A woman just carried a monkey onto an airplane. No, I’m not kidding.

OK, I’m done. This day just got way too insane. Just. Wow.

~Ash.

Well, Arizona is finally changing seasons. How do we know? Because I’m feeling like hell. Set in last night that I started feeling like crap, and then it just got worse. Me sleeping in did nothing to help. Well, it helped a LITTLE, but not recognizably.

So that’s fun.

In other news, I’ve started my new gig at work (and hopefully I’ll even be able to make it in come Friday). It’s interesting but HARD work. I am definitely learning so much more than I have basically since I first started in this department. Every day it’s something new. And we’re not just talking department procedural stuff. No, we’re talking these really intricate scripts that I’m learning how to modify and write myself which can make the servers and Plesk (the control panels that most of these servers run) do truly amazing things.

As usual, I can’t really go into too many details cause it’s work and all, but it is pretty cool. It would just be nice if for most of my week there were some more people there. Just the down side of working the third shift . . .

ANYWAY. That’s all I’ve got. Gonna go get take a short nap and see if that makes me all better . . .

Take care everyone,
~A.

There are all sorts of reasons, even some good ones, for people not doing their jobs. They’re being inundated with work (maybe other people aren’t doing their own for example), they’re untrained, circumstances beyond their control are causing their own jobs to be impossible to be completed.

But when it’s just flat out NOT. GETTING. DONE . . . Makes an AshMonster see red.

Now two things have happened recently which makes me a little angry. One happened to my dear friend Meggan, and it’s something that isn’t entirely the other person’s fault, and it’s something that actually happened to me as well, for all that I didn’t blog about it. For the last week, Meggan and her family (including her darling newborn, Ruby) were in Hawai’i for the Ironman Triathlon finals which her father was competing in. When trying to return home, her flight was delayed by over 24 hours, and she was told she would need to sit in the VERY warm airport lobby with a small baby. This. Just. Doesn’t. Work. Like I said, this exact thing happened when my family was in Hawai’i two years ago and they similarly just kept us there despite knowing it would be HOURS. If you know of this delay, you arrange a cheap motel or SOMETHING. If there’s a small child, you DEFINITELY figure something out. Don’t just shrug your shoulders, you heartless cows.

Then there’s me. I can’t get into TOO many of the details because it’s work related, but suffice to say I will not be spending ANY money for the next two weeks due to a paycheck SNAFU, at which point I will get a HUGE one. Has there been an apology? No. Was ANYONE prompt in addressing the situation? No. Did anyone even address the situation at all until I went in and raised hell four days after I originally pointed out there was a problem? Um, no. I was of course livid and am only slightly less so now. Really . . . it’s a timecard. It’s NOT that hard to mess up. I ensure I punch in and out. You just have to ensure that it’s not been messed up in any other way, people.

SO ANYWAY. That’s just some of the hi jinks that ensue when unmitigated incompetence is allowed to roam free. So please, lock up your incompetence. The person it hurts may be someone you love.

~Ash.

So in efforts of keeping my hands and mind a bit busy, I’ve been doing something that I had vaguely considered doing for years.

Back in the day, when I first started keeping a blog, I did so without the help of a database, hand writing each blog entry into a text file and dividing them up into month groups. They were time and date stamped, but that’s about it. I always thought it would be nice, though mind-numbingly boring, to go through and separate those entries out into individual blog entries like a nice modern blog like this one.

Well, I sure was right. It was mind-numbingly boring. Which was the whole point.

So if you feel like clicking around, you’ll notice I’ve gone from 3 recent entries (the legitimate new ones) to around 130 or so (the ones which I could auto-import from Live Journal), to now exactly 300 (301 after this). Hey, that’s not THAT bad when you consider the blog goes back to 2002 (and we’re ignoring that I’ve lost all the blog entries from when I was in Aberdeen. Oh, dueling-bunnies.net, how I miss you!).

The point is, if you really feel like reading the carnage that are my years in Glasgow or the randomness that are the years since, there they are, on display for the world to see. May whatever god you pray to have mercy on your soul.

~Ash.

21:29 EDIT: Well it took all of what, 25 minutes?  But I was able to hunt down and insert all of the like 25 blog entries from dueling-bunnies.net.  Turns out that they were archived over on the Way Back Machine. At least I’m pretty sure I got them all.  If not, they’re gone forever.  And yeah, I checked for those few from the sagittarii.com too.  Nothing.  I’d say THAT’S for the best!    Have a good night, everyone!

So before I went to bed today I needed to spend some time with the Polly-wog, and so we sat together on the couch and I watched the new episode of The Family Guy. I for once didn’t fast forward through a commercial and some random Levi’s advert came on and I remembered that a few years ago they did one which had dialog from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” my favourite Shakespearean play EVAR.

I decided to jump on to the ol’ YouTube and see if I could find it. I could. I’ve included it below for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy, I know I did!

~A.

29 September 2009, 15:47:  EDIT: Apparently I spoke about this very commercial four years ago in my blog at the time.  Don’t believe me?  Check it out.

Apparently Southwest has pulled their heads out of their collective asses.

Several years ago, when the gas crisis (read: most recent gas crisis) began, the airlines began charging extra fees in order to defray the costs of the baggage. When the cost of fuel went down however, the fees did not disappear, and what’s more, fees continued to appear for other sundry items which had never existed before.

Finally an airline has, with more than a little shameless self-aggrandizement begun to allow bags to “fly free.” So, any time when I can, even if it costs a little extra, I am going to give my money to Southwest Airlines.

Because I vote, and if necessary, I vote with my wallet.

~A.