Ash the Mighty

I thought up that title when I first sat down to write this update Thursday night. I was exhausted then though, so you all have just had to wait for my genius.

I can’t even keep a straight face. Genius. Ha. Anyway, first off, the Flogging Molly concert was pretty cool. I’m reserving the term “ace” for the first show I saw of theirs a few months ago in Edinburgh. Not only was the band complete then (the only female Molly cut her hand and so is healing in the US, leaving them short a very integral fiddle player), but the audience was about a million times cooler. I’m a big fan of the mosh pit, but I’m also a fan of respect for fellow human beings. In short, I don’t go into a pit where people are actually trying to hurt each other just for fun ’cause that’s really not what moshing is about (not that I could articulate what I think moshing is truly about, but it doesn’t involve GBH [Grevious Bodily Harm] unless something has gone really wrong). So the whole point is that I was in the mosh pit almost the entire time in Edinburgh and had a grand ol’ time. I thought Glasgow would be the same, but these people were so crazy that even little 14 year olds who couldn’t make me budge with a 2 x 4 were still trying to body slam me (and making me laugh as they rebounded away). The end result is that while it’s always great to see a band you like performing songs you love, this was not my favourite experience. I think I’ll forgive them though . . . just this once.

And secondly, I’ve got to admit that I’m a bit ashamed of my home town. Chris Bowles forwarded me a news story off of CNN.com that I had to share with you. You can read it on the CNN.com website, or I’ve copy/pasted the article right here. It’s bad enough that this is coming out of Arizona, but if you look at where specifically the guy lives, it’s in MESA! You know, I just can’t wait for the next armed bad guy to come into my house and take me hostage so that a wee monkey can come in with three glocks blazin’ (we figure one for each hand and another gripped in his tail). I just have one question for these people. If you’re spending $100 grand to train a monkey which is (presumably) better to send in than a human because of its almost-disposable nature, wouldn’t you be really reticent to throw away such expensive training anyway? Just a thought . . .

That’s all I’ve got. Heading in to work now and am just looking forward to tomorrow so very much. I hate Old Firm matches more than pretty much anything. Both Lauren and I will be on for over 9 hours protecting our little pub from rampaging hooligans. I love my job!

Slainte.

“Stronger and harder than a bad girls dream
Make a bad one good, Mmmm make a wrong one right”
~Huey Lewis & The News – “The Power of Love”

As threatened, I have scanned about 50 of the photos that I took in Iona. I actually took almost twice that number, but between sand, sea spray, and even fog from a VERY warm common room, many of them were rendered total rubbish. What can you do, I guess. Soooooo, you can see what passed muster here. You can also see my step-by-step guide to “quaffing” (in the words of Alistair McLennan, to quaf means to drink with great gusto so that half the liquid actually ends up in one’s beard. The substance in this case was white wine so you can’t tell so much, but believe me it was in fact quaffed!) as a lovely but LARGE (1.5Mb) animated gif right here.

Hope you all enjoy!

Slainte.

“I never did a single thing that did a single thing
To change the ugly ways of the world”
~Dave Matthews Band – “I Did It”

Over a thousand years ago there was this Irish dude. He was from a noble family and like all Irish nobles at the time he was probably one hell of a warrior. Bloodshed apparently didn’t sit well with him though, because he became a Christian monk, renamed himself Columba, crossed the Irish Sea, and set about (among other things) converting the pagan Picts. He did something right and was rewarded by a local king with a very small island off the western coast of Mull (which is itself a considerably larger island right off the western coast of Scotland). This island was called Iona and was a major Christian centre for centuries (even the famous Book of Kells was probably written on Iona and then moved to Kells for safekeeping when the Vikings started making such nuisances of themselves).

Why do you care? Because that’s where your favourite blogger spent his weekend. The GCMRS decided a few months ago that we should do something as a group to keep the bonds strong between us all. Iona was kinda thrown out as an idea and our programme’s unofficial leader, Shona McIntosh, immediately jumped in with both feet. She got everything researched and organised and all most of us had to do was show up! There were about 15 of us, less than half of us even being from the GCMRS (we had opened it up to the Uni at large in hopes to fill more spaces in the hostel which we rented out in it’s entirety) including Chris Bowles and I know I’m speaking for pretty much everyone when I say it was a blast.

The whole thing actually had quite a quest feel to it which I won’t go into too much detail on. Suffice to say there was a train, a ferry, a bus, a second ferry, and a 3 kilometer hike to get to the hostel. I will tell you candidly that I spent hours enjoying a significant wind chill factor while staring out at the sea and that any number of jokes were made at my expense involving sheep (I admit I was an easy target. It’s lambing season and the hostel happens to be set in the middle of a field wherein black sheep are kept. Much time was spent by Ash trying to get good shots of skittish baby sheep. There is nothing cuter than a two day old black lamb. There is one thing more amazing though . . . watching one being born. It’s a long story as to why, but I found myself outside the hostel at about 12am Saturday morning and watched a lamb being born . . . I named it Melvin and risked a nearly-charging ewe to pet it just once).

So, while on the Holy Isle our group did a lot of stuff, most of it involving hiking and then imbibing. Sometimes even at the same time. Chris and I, for instance, climbed the highest “mountain” on Iona (whereon there was supposedly a broch once called Dun I [pronounced "done ee"]) for the specific purpose of drinking a bottle of wine at the top . . . each. In all honesty that wasn’t the original plan. It just happened to work out that way (and pictures may follow of me in a step by step guide to the quaffing of a bottle of white wine, as instructed by Alistair McLennan). We also participated in such educational activities as tours of the Abbey of Iona and the giving of papers by a few of the students. In general, a good time was had by most (and a great time was had by at least two — you know who you are!) and I for one was sad to have to leave.

And as a final amusing note, we almost couldn’t leave! The weather, which had been quite nice the whole weekend (to the point that on Friday night four or six of us were able to go on the beach and lay on the sand staring at more stars than I’ve seen since I lived/worked in Colorado five years ago!) turned ugly some time last night. I woke to the sound of the wind howling and the 3 km walk to town required us literally leaning into the wind to stop from being knocked over. We had to wait a good 45 minutes for the ferry to come to take us to Mull and when it did come it couldn’t even come close to docking because the seas were so rough. In fact it almost took out a schooner and really did knock a smaller boat free from it’s anchor when it lost control after making a docking attempt. We pretty much gave up on getting back to Glasgow today when the ferry threw in the towel only to have a much smaller boat offered to take us over. It was so small and the seas so rough that sprays didn’t just come up from the side but also went all the way over from the front . . . right onto me. I wasn’t about to let the opportunity pass me by so I actually stood out on the deck while everyone else huddled under cover. I was soaked but it was so worth it!!!

Slainte.

“Now there’s an ocean between
Where I am and where I want to be
So you prayers in doubt
Doubt not for me”
~Flogging Molly – “Whistles the Wind” — Seeing them on Thursday! ROCK!

It started out a pretty OK day. Watched a tiny bit of telly. Did some research on Robert Knowles. Played some Splinter Cell. Warning bells should have gone off when Sooz passed out at work for an unknown reason. She came home early so I went and bought her all sorts of “comfort” goodies and then kept her company until Murray could get off work (’cause she hates being alone when ill). When he arrived, I took off to go to Erin’s VIVA-passing/Nat’s birthday celebration(s) in the PGC. All this was making for a good day. I set off home by way of Jinty’s for a quick last one and as I am wont to do during such a walk, I used my time to call my folks to say howdy. Then the wheels kinda came off . . .

Grandpa Dave “died” when I was 10. He was ill . . . dunno from what but I wanna say cancer of the colon. Dee died when I was 23 of cancer. Papa is now in the hospital with what can only be complications arising from cancer. He’s had it for a while, though it’s been rather hush hush. Fair enough. The man is the most active, most healthy I’ve ever known. Being ill like that can’t be easy for anyone much less a paragon of fitness like him. But now he’s got problems with kidney failure and in my Dad’s words, “maybe it’s time to bring you home.”

So I’ll be going home for a fortnight starting May 3rd.

Scared?
Me?
Yeah.

Slainte.

“There are no words to be spoken
Just a look to say good-bye”
~Garth Brooks – “Ireland”

I’ve been sitting at my computer most of the day working on various things, and now that I find myself at the end of this particular round of consciousness, it just seemed appropriate to say hello to all my fans. As such, I don’t have anything to really talk to you about, so I’ll speak shortly on the subjects of music and advertisement.

Music. Never been the fan that others are. An ex of mine by the name of Ashley lived her life by the clef note. I just couldn’t get it. Spence is the same way. That said, I still enjoy my fair share of artists and am generally on the lookout for new aural experiences. I just got done doing a little bit of spur-of-the-moment purchasing on Amazon — a couple of albums I never really saw myself buying. First was “10″ by K’s Choice. I saw K’s Choice perform at the 1997 Lilith Fair when it came to Arizona. I downloaded a couple of their songs and have never heard anything more. Their 10 year Greatest Hits Album seems a good start.

The second is very surprising, even to me. I bought “The Divine Comedy” by Milla Jovovich. I didn’t really know she could sing either, but a few weeks ago, I wiki-ed my birthday and discovered a whole bunch of stuff that happened on that auspicious date in December. Among them, Ms. Jovovich was born two years previously. On her little bio was a mention of her burgeoning music career, and I have finally gotten around to giving it a try. The “folk” label that everyone kept applying to the album was probably the highest selling point for me for the record (as opposed to, say, the mental image that persists in my mind from the The Fifth Element!). On the same front, I’m happy to announce that I’ll again be checking out Flogging Molly later this month at the Garage in Glasgow, and then in early June I’ll be catching Garbage in London. More on that particular trip next time perhaps.

And on to advertisement, specifically in relation to music. I had two things I wanted to mention, but can only remember one of them. Has anyone from the other side of the Atlantic seen the new advert for the VW Golf? I think it’s hilarious, though Chris finds it remarkably frightening. It’s a new take on “Singing in the Rain” and starts more or less normal. Gene Kelly is walking along, closes his umbrella, and looks up into the rain . . . and then it gets weird. The music changes into a techno version, and Gene starts doing these weird breakdance moves which heavily suggest that he is not, in fact, human. After watching the advert several times I’ve figured out that the head really is Gene and that the body has been refilmed (duh), and that the clue lies in his white dress shirt under the jacket which they couldn’t quite match up all the time. My point? Nothing really. Just a really fascinating take on an old standard. I’m glad for it really. I’d love to see more like it. HA HA! And there we have the other advert I wanted to mention. This one is for Levi’s jeans. It took me a little while, but I figured out where it came from. It has a bunch of hispanic guys giving another guy a hard time about his jeans before said guy goes and meets hottie girl as she leaves her place of work. The twist to all this is that the characters are all speaking in remarkably strange street talk. Almost — dare I say it? — Shakespearean. Like I said, it took me a while to pin it down, but the text really is Shakespearean, and comes from the best play ever, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” (those who may have seen this advert may notice that they’ve added a bit at the beginning which gives the title, the act, and the scene number. I want it noted that that wasn’t there at first! ). Again, my point? Why can’t we have LOADS more stuff with the Bard’s works in it? To be honest, this commercial is exactly what I expected from Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet and so I was naturally a bit disappointed. Oh well, I guess. I’m not that big a fan of “Romeo and Juliet” anyway, so I guess you could say “Rubbish in, rubbish out.”

That was a whole lot longer than I had planned. Hope you don’t mind. I’ll catch you all soon. Think I may make a VERY early night of it. I’m dyin’ here for some reason!

Slainte.

SNOUT O Bottom, thou art changed! what do I see on thee?

BOTTOM What do you see? you see an asshead of your own, do
you?

[Exit SNOUT]

. . .

BOTTOM I see their knavery: this is to make an ass of me;
to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir
from this place, do what they can: I will walk up
and down here, and I will sing, that they shall hear
I am not afraid.

. . .

TITANIA [Awaking] What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?

. . .

TITANIA I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again:
Mine ear is much enamour’d of thy note;
So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape;
And thy fair virtue’s force perforce doth move me
On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.
~William Shakespeare – “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” Act III Scene i

April 1st is officially over in Great Britain, so I can reveal to everyone that the website you saw yesterday was a HOAX (those of you who missed it can see it here)!

NO, Carly did not show up in Glasgow.
NO, we aren’t getting back together again.
And finally NO I’m not “[expletive deleted] crazy!”

I AM, however, sly as the fox on my arm. I love pulling good pranks, and even occassionally enjoy having them pulled on me (despite the fact that I was totally expecting it, Braden got me pretty good this morning. I blame the fact that it was very early in the morning). April Fool’s Day is like Christmas to me!

Oh, and for the record, if you go to the page in question and press Control A (or just select the whole page however you prefer), you’ll see that I even included a message revealing the joke. Even the “AF” in the title bar at the very top didn’t clue you all in! You’ve gotta be more on the ball in this game!

Take care everyone, and enjoy your April!

OH hey, if you were pissed off by my prank . . . if you loved my prank . . . if you’re wondering why you should even care . . . go ahead and tell me! Leave me a note in the Guestbook!

Slainte.

“Ha ha ha haaa ha! I got you kiinda! I got you kiinda!”
~Trey Parker (as Eric Cartman) – “South Park” – Episode 705 – “Fat Butt and Pancake Head”