Ash the Mighty

About this time last night I posted my first album of photos taken with my new Nikon D2x. The love I feel for this camera knows few bounds. As you’ll be able to tell (and as I mentioned previously), I’m not anywhere as good with it as I was with my film SLR. That’s OK though. Practice makes perfect (or at least less sucky), so bear with me.

Christmas 2005 Photos

Also, for the record, the camera was out of my hands for a good long time on Christmas Day. There are a lot of photos (generally recognized as having me in them) which I didn’t take, so the ones of . . . ahem! . . . lesser quality I take no responsibility for! Enjoy!

Cheers,
~DTAR.

P.S. Isn’t my Mom hot? I’ll also draw your attention to the next Elward Construction Company Christmas Card (sorry about the awful alliteration) and finally to the two coolest pictures I’ve taken with this camera thus far, both largely accidents. One and two.

So I was chockablock full of insomnia yesterday (and I’m well down that road for tonight as well, btw). As I’m wont to do, I got online and started looking for something — anything — to keep my brain occupied. During times like this I’m actually pretty choosie. I prefer to read blogs and if at all possible, blogs written by people I know. As you’re all well aware, I rate only slightly above a 3 month-old corpse at the whole correspondence thing so I’ve got no choice but to be passive and read about other peoples’ lives through their own online ramblings.

Alas, most of my friends aren’t quite as narcisistic as me and so don’t posess blogs. Those that do are rather . . . tardy . . . with their updates (Chris’ last entry was from a wedding he attended last May). So, I found myself last evening/this morning running searches for people that I might know on LJ. It’s harder than it seems. I’m pretty open about who I am because I’m a big guy (so have little fear of stalkers) and besides, who cares what I do or think or say? Such (potentially foolish) disregard is by no means the rule however. Most people don’t even include a real first name, much less a last name or photograph. However, I did manage to find myself reading the profile of an LJ user named . Something about this girl seemed familiar, I just couldn’t place it. It took me longer than I should admit, but it did hit me eventually. I had finally run across someone I knew! Introduced to me by an ex-girlfriend, April Bennett, way back in like junior year of highschool, Leigh went to Mountain View and then against all odds was across the hall from C during her freshman year at the UofA.

So really the whole point of this post is to say hi to the latest addition to my friends list, ! I look forward to catching up with what you’ve been up to all this time!

~DTAR.

P.S. Leigh had apparently found my own blog long ago but didn’t drop a note or anything. Bad Leigh! Anyone else out there who happens by, just say howdy!

As many of you know, I’m not much of a one for Christmas these days. The very fact that I wished everyone a happy Solstice in the previous post should have been at least a bit of a hint. I don’t know what it is about it. Maybe it’s the historian in me being angry that we all get so riled up about something that is a 1700 year old publicity stunt, or maybe it’s the forced cheeriness that most people undergo . . . or perhaps it’s the fact that it’s usually the cheeriest people who turn into the scariest people if their roast comes out wrong or something (which, by the way, is the same reason I hate Disneyland. “Happiest place on Earth” my left buttock). Any which way, I just don’t dig it in general.

That said, this year I had SUCH a good time. Again, I don’t know what made this holiday different from the others. Maybe it was the extreme personal intoxication four out of the past six nights. Maybe it was the fantabulously perfect presents that I got this year (for example, in a remarkable feat of telepathy, my sister/brother-in-law gifted me with a “tic-tac-toe” game of shot glasses the exact next day after I was lamenting the fact that my father had none in the house . . . shot glasses, that is. Not tic-tac-toe games). It’s even entirely possible that it was the fact that my extended family coexisted harmoniously during each of the many incarnations of “togetherness” that have occurred over the past few days. Any which way, this has been an awesome holiday season.

Oh, and the whole point of the subject was that I found myself completely unable to sleep Christmas Eve Night. It was like childhood all over again, anxious over what Santa would be bringing me. Granted, I had just drunk half a bottle of Sambuca and nearly that much vodka and so this time was rather anxious over whether or not I would drown on my own vomit, but the sentiment is (more or less) the same.

So I’ll say to you all, Happy Christmas. Merry Holidays. And a Bitchin’ New Year!

Snoochies.
~DTAR.

Probably a swift kick to the genitals. But a close second has got to be that moment of absolute terror when you walk up to a girl that you really can’t even pretend to know and say to her something — anything — to make her accept the date that you are offering.

So dinner to tonight at a place called BaK’D (where the “a” has the little line over it meaning a long a. So Baked. Yeah, I thought I was in for some good refer too . . . though the fact that my Gran picked the place probably should have been a sign). It’s new and very small so there wasn’t much staff. We were there pretty early and the moment I walked in I couldn’t help but notice that our waitress, L_____, was incredibly beautiful in a vaguely Mesa kind of way (blond hair, blue eyes, Aryan type of thing. Alright, I’ll say it. She looked kinda Mormon). So the point is she was hot. All through dinner I couldn’t help but smile every time I looked at her. She was probably a bit weirded out by this, but she always smiled back and laughed at my stupid little quips when she came by and the part of my self esteem which wasn’t kicked to death by Glaswegian women perked up and said “Hey, she digs you.” I still wasn’t about to anything about it, of course. This is me we’re talking about.

Dinner wrapped up (it was fantastic, by the way) and we were all slowly getting ready to leave. Nate leans over and says “You are gonna get her digits, right?” Apparently I wasn’t being too subtle in my admiration for this girl. I know. Shock. But, believe it or not folks, Nate actually has an ability that few others have. He is somehow able to MAKE me hit on women. He did it in Glasgow two years ago when he came to visit, and he did it again tonight. I desperately searched for a scrap of paper to write on and not finding one I did something horrifying . . . I used the back of my mother’s business card! I wrote out “Ash” and my number (scribbling out my Mom’s contact info) and went to talk to her. This story is already too long so suffice to say I don’t think I stumbled over myself too badly and she didn’t flat out refuse to accept the card, so I’m counting this one as a qualified win. Dad, having noticed what I was doing, waiting at the door and in full view insisting on giving me “five” did not help, however!

The moral of the story is that those instants where I was trying so desperately not to spontaneously combust with embarrassment nor have a cardiac arrest because of pure unadulterated fear are ones that I will be reliving for years to come when I’m feeling the need to torture myself with the memories of bad moments. Of course, should L____ actually, you know, CALL . . . well then the story will change, now won’t it? I’m just sayin’ that people like my sister who say how hard it is for a girl to call a guy should really try having to actually hit on said guy some time to know true petrification.

And on that note, I’m outta here. Happiest of late Solstice wishes to everyone and I’ll see ya soon!

~Ash.

P.S. Addendum. It’s already been pointed out to me that I’ve hit on women before (and indeed have done many things more scary) and so why should this matter. Well, in my defense, she was really hot. Plus, she was hot. Also, imagine hitting on a girl in front of BOTH your grandmothers. Oh yeah, didn’t I mention that? They were there. Right. Then. Without being too arrogant, I’m the man.

As per my usual routine, Tuesday morning I noticed the battery on my cell phone was dying so I plugged the rig in right before kicking back to watch an episode of CSI: NY (disappointing overall, by the way). By the time my 45 minutes were up the charging light was off so I grabbed the phone and took it with me to see what mischief my mother was up to. As I was sitting down, I noticed that there was no activity on the phone. Blah. Did the usual thing, took out the battery, cleaned the connection points, tried all the various “soft-reset” tricks I knew but still no dice. The battery or something similarly vital had gone kaput.

Luckily I have a mother who pays attention to things and a grandmother who likes to buy things. Mom had noticed the gleam of avarice in my eye when I was helping her and Dad pick out new PDA/phone hybrids for each other. They both ended up with the Samsung i730 through Verizon which is really very groovy but for two issues: 1) it is only dual band, so worthless anywhere outside the US and 2) it’s through Verizon who I have a totally irrational hatred of. What I had been pushing them to get was the HP iPAQ hw6500 through Cingular. Not only is Cingular better in every way than Verizon, but this phone has quad band, built in GPS, and is the same basic concept as my previous PDA the h4355 only smaller and, you know, a phone.

So I loved this phone. It was all the toy a guy could want and then some. So imagine my joy when I was sitting there shaking my head over my now-broken mobile and what should happen but my Mom come in and tell me that my Gran had already decided she was going to buy me the phone for my birthday which was still several days away. Since it has become an issue, she said, why don’t I just go and get it early?

So rock on. I now have a very groovy PDA/phone hybrid that I adore. I’ve always had problems making Outlook work for e-mail, so I don’t quite have a flawless solution as far as that goes, but I can still surf online any time and anywhere that I have cell phone signal. The speeds aren’t bad either. Yay for nummy geeky goodness.

In other news, Alex Gauntt, the guy who got me a job working at Jinty’s way back when, is getting married! This is not really news as they’ve been engaged for a bit of a while now, but what is quite exciting is they’ve moved the date up to the end of the January. Alas, this means that I won’t be able to make it to the actual ceremony, more’s the pity, but I’m still excited for him! I’ll also just announce that I received my degree yesterday in the mail. I really am a Massa now!

Hope you’re all well, and as of 35 minutes from now, happy birthday to me!

~DTAR.

So Least I Could Do makes me laugh pretty much every day, so forgive me for constantly sharing the comics. You gotta admit, this one is just too perfect to pass up. I genuinely hope to some day get the chance to do this, if not to the EDB then to someone!

Take care, y’all.

~DTAR.

Funniest thing I’ve seen all day.

Found this on PIC’s Away Message page and it made me laugh, so I thought I’d share. Making fun of these fannies on their ways in and out of The Loft/Voddy always made my night. Enjoy.

Today we salute you, Mr. Constant Collar Putter Upper. You, bedecked in popped collar, teach us that we no longer have to live with a cold, back of the neck. Sure, your pink alligator polo may look feminine to some, but not the 17 other frat guys wearing the same thing at the bar. Where others may see thoughtless fashion conformity, you preach a higher gospel. You preach of a world where it is okay for a man to go tanning. You ask “why can’t we wear makeup, and use shampoo with lavender essence?” So crack open a fresh bottle of candy cologne, Mr. Abercrombie (or is it Fitch?), because we all know, when we really need a piece of gum, you might have one…in your man purse.

Funny, eh?

~DTAR