ceramic vases stand sentinel
cloying scent of lilies heavy, sweet
petals dropping like tears
loved me, loved you
loved her
forming drifts around
carefully typed words
inadequately embossed on stiff little cards
until the transient well wishes
can be borne no longer
and the detritus is cleared away
the cheerful reminders of death
stowed neatly beneath the sink
counters cleared of
thinking of you
ten tiny fingers, ten perfect toes
suspended in black and white
replaced by a grocery list
as normal begins to smooth broken edges
of life held together by grief
until from a distance
it looks whole again; fractured but solid
save for the space
that fits the shape of her exactly

~Kendra Rhodes

Source: failbook.com

This image has been making it’s rounds A LOT over the last couple of days.  Understandable since Google has just released such a seminal new Social Networking site, Google+, the first that has any hope of standing up against the current heavyweight champion of the world, Facebook.

Now in the interest of full disclosure, I’ve been a user of Google products since they came out, including Google+.  Not all products by any means (I couldn’t even tell you what practical purpose half of them even HAVE), but I certainly run my email through Google Apps and I literally would not know where I was supposed to be each day without gCal.  In the interest of FURTHER disclosure, I woke up out of a sound sleep and jumped out of bed to write this post (how’s that for a visual for you), so you’ll have to forgive any mental leaps which may occur . . . but I feel y’all need to hear the ranting that was taking place in my head.

But here’s the thing.  If you are the type of person who is concerned about Internet Privacy (and man are there a lot of you out there), then you probably shouldn’t be on social networking sites in the first place.  If you’re REALLY that concerned, you should probably ALSO be running your email through your own dedicated server (which is in your house) and your internet through a Tor network.

You also have other problems.  No, I’m not being snide, I’m saying that datamining is the next big thing and you’re going to need to cancel your weekend plans.  You need to start hitting up sites like spokeo.com and getting your data removed, because there is WAY more scary stuff just out there floating on the Interwebz.

That said, if you’re not quite that far gone, consider this.  Who would you rather entrust your personal data with?  A company which, when they make mistakes (and do not misunderstand, ANY AND ALL COMPANIES WILL MAKE MISTAKES) admits to it themselves — even if it sometimes takes a bit.  Or a company which is run by a guy who’s employees say doesn’t believe in privacy at all?  The same guy who says privacy concerns are just anxiety people get over?  The company where, at least up until 18 months ago, employees could access everything in your account (and I mean EVERYTHING)?

So I guess the question is, who do you trust more with privacy concerns?

A large corporation which you know has its hands in everything and is probably going to try and sell you something with targeted marketing . . . but at least it’s all completely automated and scripted and being perpetrated by a group who’s company motto is “Don’t be evil?”

Or a company which has had nothing BUT privacy concerns which has been run by a guy who you can’t block within his own social network if you find him unctuous and unpleasant?

Like I said at the beginning, I admit to being rather pro-Google.  Believe it or not, I don’t have active plans on shutting down my Facebook account any time soon now that G+ is up and running.  Nothing so drastic.  But the fact that there is actually competition gives me smiles.

P.S.  If you really ARE genuinely a privacy buff, give Google+ a try.  I think you’ll love “Circles.”  You specify for every post you make just who sees what you’re doing.  Absolutely no one else sees it.  It’s almost hard to grasp how much more of a lockdown it is.  You can actually have work on your friends list!  Wow.

I figured out why I haven’t been sleeping too well.

Get this.

It’s because it’s been during the fucking day time!!

I know, right?!

I actually spent the weekend with a normal person’s sleep schedule and found that I was sleeping all the way through the sleep cycle (8 plus hours.  Totally unheard of for the last several weeks), and sleeping quite well too.  It was glorious.

Also of note?  Against all odds, I’m healthy.  That issue I was concerned about was that I was worried that I had the Wilford Brimleys (die-uh-bee-tuss).  So, I did indeed go in to the doctor and got roughly one-third of my blood taken.  From that however, it was discovered that my blood sugar levels were fine (which is great) but also that so were my triglycerides, my bad cholesterol and pretty much everything else except my “good” cholesterol which was just a little bit low (which just means I need to exercise more).

So that, needless to say, is pretty awesome.  Just thought I would share.

Take care everyone.

~A.

Or Third Shift.  Whatever.

Yes, yes, you heard correctly, I once again have found myself confined to the lightless realms of third shift.  What did I do to earn myself this punishment, you ask?  Nothing bad!  I swear!

In fact, I guess you could say in a way that I asked for it.  I applied to be a Lead for my department.  While I’ve held that position title before at GD, it was on the floor and was just a stepping stone on the road to being a Supervisor, in this department (where there are no actual Supervisors), it actually fills that role.

SO, I once again find myself in a situation wherein I am responsible for the productivity of others and am answering questions, etc.  It’s interesting, that’s for certain.  It is taking me a bit of time to get used to making decisions for others again (as opposed to only having to be answerable to myself, which was nice).

I will also tell you for free that I’m not adjusting as well to third shift again as I usually do.  At first I thought that it was just that I had spent so little time on First and I had been so burned out that I wasn’t truly RESTED, but now I’m concerned that there may be a health issue or something.  I’m actually manning up and facing my White Coat Syndrome and will be going to the doctor tomorrow morning after work to get some tests run so that I can establish what the hell (if anything) is wrong with me.  Wish me luck.

And that’s pretty much all I’ve got.  Sorry it took so long to write and I do not at all promise to write more frequently, since nobody reads this anyway.

~A.

Yealp. That’s right. I, against all my better judgement, am on my final week as a light, darkness inhabiting, caffeine swilling, graveyard shift worker. Starting on Sunday I will be changing shifts from effectively Tuesday through Saturday, Late to Early; to Sunday through Thursday, Early to Mid.

This is not something I’m really cut out for generally, but let’s be honest here . . . it’s time. I’ve been on third shift for well over a year now THIS time around (I’ve even done it before), and while me being on this shift has happily not prevented me from advancing (twice now), I still feel like I’m not exactly under the nose of my bosses. I’m also not learning as much as I know I could be if I was in a busier shift.

Plus there’s the whole “no longer sleeping thing.” Yeah, it’s getting ugly. Just today I considered calling in late just to sleep some more, since I didn’t manage to get to sleep until ENTIRELY too late. This would of course have been bad, because we at least TRY to be responsible adults around here. By we of course I mean the Royal “we” because I have naturally gone THAT insane. Naturally.

At this point I’m just rambling, so I’ll say farewell. Wish me luck on my voyage with that acursed Day Star.

~A.

At the end of the meal, she had left over pancakes. She made an incredibly sad face and covered them with her napkin. “It’s so I don’t have to watch them go. It’s making me too sad. They were SO good!”

Later, when we were saying good bye for the last time, she beckoned me closer to her car window while rolling it down. Suddenly a flash of white shot out of the open window. As the paper napkin settled over my head, I heard her voice saying “I don’t want to have to watch you go either.”

Note: I’m POSTING this on 5/10/2010, but it was written on 03/29/2010.

Those who have been here before may notice that there are several posts missing from my blog. Like as in nearly six months worth. That’s actually not THAT much considering how often I had been posting.

What happened is that I had been hosting most of my sites on a server which I owned with a few other friends. The server had a hardware malfunction which caused it to go down, taking ashrhodes.com, the front end for BlackHolePhotography.com down, and a few other sites down as well. All of which of course made me a sad panda. The main guy who managed it all (not because any one of us couldn’t, we all work on servers for a living, but just because it’s just kinda his project) swore that it was just the power supply, that it was under warranty, and that he could get it back up within the week. A bit more than a week later, it was casually mentioned (after we asked) that it was the mother board that was taken out as well and it would just be a couple of more days.

That was over a month ago and the thing is STILL down.

Now I’m not saying it’s not partially my fault. I’ve not been hounding him or anything. But then I DO have to work with the guy and maintain a friendly business environment (and this server is DEFINITELY extra-business). But still. And as to why this had not appeared before now is because a) I had forgotten I had managed to get these backups off of the server, b) it is a PAIN to reset everything up for a “temporary” fix (guess it’s no longer temporary) and c) the only other hosting I had access to is shared hosting which I didn’t feel like messing about with.

But, as I said . . . it’s been a month. I’m tired of not having SOMETHING up. So here we are again.

Guess you’ll just have to deal with my ramblings all over again . . .

Sucker.

~A.

So you may have noticed that I was gone.

Oh. No? Not at all? Not even a little bit? Well that’s somewhat disappointing.

Well I’ve been gone for a while. Trust me on this. The reason? Well, the reasons have in fact been oh so many. One of the main ones is that I had found myself a really truly wonderful girlfriend who I enjoyed spending time with so much that I didn’t really feel like blogging all that much. Plus there’s the fact that her parents seemed to be a little on the overtly curious side in the “we’re going to stalk and/or hire a PI to investigate you” kind of way, and so not only did I not feel like blogging, the more observant among you may have noticed that my old blog was taken down.

But I’m back. Alas this is not because I have reached an accord with said lovely lady’s parents, but instead because she and I have parted company. Those of you who run across this blog are probably already aware of this, but it wasn’t exactly my idea and I’m utterly heartbroken by the fact . . . but to be honest at this point I really should be getting used to it. Just time to put up some walls again, up the cynicism levels once more, and spend some time bitching online!

So LOTS has actually changed in the few months since I wrote, and I can’t really get in to all of it. At least not in the first entry. But suffice to say that I’m alive, I’m still gainfully employed, though erratically scheduled, and I greatly look forward to irritating you all with my Idle Ramblings once again, in a whole new and fresh blog environment (yes, yes, for the record I am once again moving venues. I’m shifting away from LiveJournal, which I’ve not made good use of for years, and have just installed a version of WordPress on my server. Possibly a bit dangerous, but I was getting EVER so irritated with LJ, so we just all have to deal, don’t we?).

Hope you are all well and I look forward to hearing from you soon . . .

~A.

I’ve been playing around with this new concept: Actually getting at least the amount of sleep that common wisdom says you’re supposed to. I know that it’s ground breaking, especially for me, but so far the results have been quite positive. You actually get out of bed without feeling too cranky and you don’t wanna fall immediately back into it. Plus having a beautiful brunette wake up next to you in that bed I confess doesn’t hurt that much either.

So today is the 17th of June and I find myself typing away on my computer because I needed to plug my phone in “really quickly” to let it update itself with the newest iPhone OS upgrade. I won’t lie, this is incredibly exciting to me because it is finally getting all sorts of support that it should have had in the first place. Stuff like copy/paste and MMS support (though of course AT&T is apparently behind the game and is waiting until end of summer to roll out network support for the latter). Eh, I’m not going to complain too much because I”m ENTIRELY too happy about it all! As long as the installation works OK, of course! If, like 2.0, it messes everything up and I have to do it like 4 times, then I won’t be quite so happy.

I also obviously made it OK to Colorado and then back again. I had a grand ol’ time with Mr. M Turney. We spent a prodigious amount of time drinking and carousing. We met lots of interesting people as Archie and Reggie, and no doubt they currently think that we are gay. Which is just fine, they can continue to do that . . . the silly buggers. Unlike Arizona however, I didn’t have a place where I could keep Roxie safe and so I didn’t take her out that much, therefore there aren’t a whole lot of pictures, alas. What pictures I do have will show up eventually and I’ll provide a link when they do!

Take care everyone,
~A.