Ash the Mighty

Back.

This’ll be short as I am currently just killing time at my Mom’s computer waiting for my photos to download via an INSANELY slow USB 1.0 card reader onto her computer. Whatev. Still faster than zipping all of the 200 plus 5.5Mb files and uploading them for her to download.

Anyway. Well, I’m back. The flight was late but otherwise uneventful. I don’t recall where I leftoff before but I’ll just re-iterate that I had a truly great time and I’ve got very few regrets about the entire thing. In fact, I’m gonna cross post this on MySpace just for fun and because USB 1.0 continues to infuriate.

Well, once this is done I’ll be off home where my normal card reader will make considerably shorter work and tomorrow I’ll be whittling the 200 files down to a much more manageable amount. I’ll announce when and where, but they’ll eventually be made available. Some of them are OK. Some are awful (I was drinking, after all. A LOT.), and some will be going in my portfolio because they are TEH SEX.

And I’m out.

~A.

Two Days Later…

Well, here I am waiting for my breakfast a couple of days later in a “coffee shop” off the casino in Planet Hollywood called Planet Dailies (DC wouldn’t license “Daily Planet?”). It’s a lovely place though like everywhere in Vegas, I would choke on the prices if I were at home. Eh. It’s vacation.

Mom and I have had a BLAST this far, though other than our occasional meal at the Planet, we’ve been avoiding our hotel. It appears there’s a cheer competition of some sort and so there are roughly ten trillion tween girls running around chanting cheers to themselves with mothers chasing after them freaking out. It was funny. For a while.

So instead we’ve wandered. A lot. Hit a bunch of different casinos and lost considerably more than we’ve won, which is again the point. I’ve truly realized that there is such a place as a PIRATE THEMED CASINO/HOTEL (!!!!!) which I didn’t truly grasp, but I don’t think I’d ever stay there as I didn’t get the enjoyable vibe off of it that I have off of other places.

Ah! Food! More later!!

~A.

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Let’s get this road on the show!

I am a true study of that creature, Internet geek — 29 (!), overweight, goateed, with long hair, sitting crosslegged on the ground, hunched over a gadget and typing furiously. The fact that it’s a trendy iPhone probably doesn’t mitigate my nerdiness much in the eyes of any women-folk nearby.

It’s good though. It’s good. I’m on the ground of an airport terminal and I’m only typing to let you all know that I’m getting ready to go be reunited with someone I care very dearly for… Your money. Yes, your money. All that money you have dropped over the years in Vegas I will soon be joined with. They will renamed the hotel Planet Ash the Mighty. And no, you can’t have a gift. I have very reasonable loan rates however…

Just thought you should know…

~A.

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Well Happy Effing Birthday.

This weekend I was supposed to go to Las Vegas for the second time in my adult life for a weekend of fun and debauchery. It was largely self-funded with money I had been managing to squirrel away here and there for just such an occasion over the past several YEARS (literally).

Then, over the weekend, I got in a fight with my . . . traveling companion . . . and all of a sudden Vegas is a maybe. A fucking maybe. This morning that maybe turned into a definite no. Yeah, the reason turned from ridiculous into legit (which ironically enough makes me feel like a total bastard for feeling pissed off about this whole thing . . .), but by the same token, I’m still the one who is out HUNDREDS OF DOLLLARS, who will be sitting at home alone for my birthday trip — or alternatively will be in VEGAS alone on my birthday trip, and am just generally fucked — AGAIN — on my birthday.

Christ.

Seriously.

How often can this happen?

Let’s see how many people who SHOULD remember don’t (hint: it’s actually not this weekend).

~A.

Gods, that’s just sick.

So Bernard Madoff, a very famous Wall Street investor and ex-NASDAQ head has been screwing everyone he knew for the past 30 plus years. He’s run a hedge fund which it turns out has just been nothing more than a pyramid scheme (which to be honest I’ve always kindof felt most hedge funds are just a step away from being a pyramid scheme waiting to happen anyway) and it just all came crashing down in the last day or so (his sons apparently turned him in which is awesome). Unlike most white collar crime where the there are issues with determining intent versus idiocy, etc, apparently the guy has totally admitted that it was all a great big “ponzi scheme” and has come clean. So good for him. I guess. Sorta.

BUT, here’s the effing sick part.

The BBC’s article on the whole thing, towards the bottom, talks about how he had planned to turn himself in — noble right? — after he had used his last $200m-$300m to pay “select employees, family and friends”. This is $300 of other people’s money, remember. Then the article goes on to say that if he was found guilty, Madoff would face ” . . . up to 20 years in prison and a fine of up to $5m.”

While 20 years is no good for a 70 year old, and while it’s a different environment now, I’m not sure that he’d really see any jail time, as evidenced by good ol’ Scooter and his sublime proof that power and money means that old white people don’t go to jail for breaking the law. And $5 million dollar fine? When the bastard was just gonna throw $300 million at family and friends?

I just want to vomit. Seriously.

~A.

For those about to rock . . .

FIRE!!!

Last night I went to see one of the most amazing shows I’ve ever seen in my no-longer-quite-so-short life. AC/DC more than proved that even though they are well past what most would consider the age at which they should hang up their guitars and retire, they are still mother-fucking ROCKING. Something I have to admit I find amusing is that when this show was announced and the admittedly steep ticket price was revealed (a biscuit shy of a c-note a piece), I got no end of crap from almost everyone I knew for immediately buying tickets. Walking around today with my new AC/DC lanyard, I was stopped both in work and at the convenience store by both friends and random strangers asking about the show and lamenting the fact that they couldn’t get the tickets. The thing had sold out. How cool is that?

So this post is incredibly short and kinda random because said show of course let out rather late and was in downtown Phoenix. After I dropped off my date to the show and then got myself on home and in bed, it was nigh on one in the morning, and seeing as I have to have my carcass up at five in order to do battle with that beast called traffic in order to be at work on time, it is rather shocking that I’m even conscious at this point.

In unrelated news, I’ve got quite a few things coming up which will be a nice little fill to my time. My company’s holiday party is this weekend and it promises to be . . . an event. It certainly was last year. Last year the “mystery band” turned out to be the Gin Blossoms. This year, it is “two legendary rock bands” as well as a “famous comedian.” Who knows. I just hope I actually win something this time around. It would be a nice change for once. Then on Wednesday is my birthday and I’ll be celebrating it the following weekend by jetting up to Vegas for a few days. It’ll be nice to get away. No real plans. Just intoxication and gambling. More of the former as I am lacking a primary component for the latter.

And that’s about me for now. Take care everyone.

~Ash.

Ah, the downside.

I knew there had to be one. I’ve been dropping weight, and while I definitely needed it and there’s still A LOT more to go that needs to be dropped, I’ve found the downside to losing the weight: I literally walk right out of my pants.

I tend to just have two or so pairs of blue jeans at a time that I rotate and wear until they are destroyed and then buy a new pair because I just generally find it ridiculous that clothing is so expensive. So I took my smallest pair and washed and dried them as dry as I could in an attempt to shrink them up, and still they are too loose. “Wear a belt,” you say? Yeah, belt is too big too. I suppose I could punch new holes in it.

I know I could go buy new clothes, but please refer to previous statement: too effing expensive. I’m trying to save my pennies for Xmas gifts and a trip that I’m taking to Vegas for my birthday (not to mention that I just bought myself an early birthday present that pretty handily cleaned me out). So instead I just complain. Because I can.

~A.

Just noticed

That it has been a long time since I’ve blogged. So much has happened since I last spoke that I don’t really even know where to go or what to say. I could say “Yay, Obama won and Palin lost” (because really I was voting against her more than against McCain or even for Obama specifically, but only because I really do think she would end up president before too long and we’ve already had a complete moron this decade we don’t need another, thanks), but really that drum has been beaten. I could say “Oy vey, the economy,” but that’ll only depress me and pretty much everyone else. Or I could tell you all about how I’m a magnet for the detritus of bad luck and just random and utter shit that the Universe wants to throw at me, but half of you would say “yeah, whatever,” and the other half would realize that I’m probably right and stop hanging out with me for your own protection . . . and I’m already lonely enough as it is!

So I made it both to and from Colorado safely, though barely. It’s a story that is really long and boring and of interest to probably two people in the whole world other than me so I won’t bore others with it. I happily began a new shift and a new position within my department at work when I got back only to not actually get trained in the new position and to have my nice Monday through Friday day shift moved to a Tuesday through Saturday shift two weeks later. That was AWESOME. I just adore my job/boss. And of my own drama, that’s about all I can share. There’s a WHOLE lot of other stuff going on, but I can’t really share it because it’s not mine. I’ve become involved, but it wasn’t mine to begin with so I can’t exactly disseminate it to the interwebz.

So that’s my life. Small wonder I’m not blogging about it, eh? Good times.

Hope everyone else is doing well! I promise I’m not THAT bad! Just the bug this month. Maybe next month I’ll get to be the windshield.

~A.

To quote the PirateWench, “Duh”

But I’m surprised just how much. Good thing I’ve already voted.

You preferred Obama’s statements 89% of the time You preferred McCain’s statements 11% of the time Voting purely on the issues you should vote Obama Who would you vote for if you voted on the issues? Find out now!

~A.

And people wonder why I love Halloween . . .

How can you not when you’ve got the potential for women walking around in costumes such as these? Want. Really want. Yeah, it plays into soooo many nerdly stereotypes, but I can’t help it. I am a product of my generation and environment.

Yummy.

~A.