Ash the Mighty

So in efforts of keeping my hands and mind a bit busy, I’ve been doing something that I had vaguely considered doing for years.

Back in the day, when I first started keeping a blog, I did so without the help of a database, hand writing each blog entry into a text file and dividing them up into month groups. They were time and date stamped, but that’s about it. I always thought it would be nice, though mind-numbingly boring, to go through and separate those entries out into individual blog entries like a nice modern blog like this one.

Well, I sure was right. It was mind-numbingly boring. Which was the whole point.

So if you feel like clicking around, you’ll notice I’ve gone from 3 recent entries (the legitimate new ones) to around 130 or so (the ones which I could auto-import from Live Journal), to now exactly 300 (301 after this). Hey, that’s not THAT bad when you consider the blog goes back to 2002 (and we’re ignoring that I’ve lost all the blog entries from when I was in Aberdeen. Oh, dueling-bunnies.net, how I miss you!).

The point is, if you really feel like reading the carnage that are my years in Glasgow or the randomness that are the years since, there they are, on display for the world to see. May whatever god you pray to have mercy on your soul.

~Ash.

21:29 EDIT: Well it took all of what, 25 minutes?  But I was able to hunt down and insert all of the like 25 blog entries from dueling-bunnies.net.  Turns out that they were archived over on the Way Back Machine. At least I’m pretty sure I got them all.  If not, they’re gone forever.  And yeah, I checked for those few from the sagittarii.com too.  Nothing.  I’d say THAT’S for the best!    Have a good night, everyone!

6:35 PM 7/6/2005 GMT (Wednesday)
10:35 AM 7/6/2005 AZT (Wednesday)

Technolust. And an Announcement.

I want the Nikon D2x to have my children. This is one sweet bit of photography genius. It’s a 12.4 Megapixel digital SLR camera (meaning that it generally works the same way as my current Nikon but instead of images being recorded on film, they are recorded as an exceedingly high quality digital image). This is terrific since film processing has become so expensive that I’ve become limited in how much I can use my camera simply because I can’t afford to get the film developed (and don’t get me started on the 4 quid scanning fees they now charge to get a photo CD with it, meaning I have to scan the photos myself which takes forever). So the whole point is that I want every person reading this to get a hold of my folks and let them know you want in on the purchase. It’s going to be my graduation/birthday/Christmas present from pretty much everyone I’ve ever met (it does cost about $5 grand without any extras including the all-important memory cards).

But this camera is going to be of great use to me for my announcement. I have decided to re-marry. This time around it will be to my partner from work, Lauren. Why, you ask? Well, because Lauren is a beautiful, intelligent, sweet, and capable woman. But all those pale next to the fact that she just got accepted to Med School on the island of St. Martin in the Caribbean. So, I think I’m going to come along. Keep all this to yourselves for the moment though, because I haven’t really asked her yet and (and you can ask the folks in the pub on this one) you really don’t want to piss this woman off!

That’s all. For those of you who need a clue, the bit about me gettin’ re-hitched is a total joke. Lauren’s great and all, but I think I’ll keep my policy of never marrying someone I’ve never even dated intact for the time being. This will of course change the moment any of my Three Future Wives realize that I’m alive (the TFW being Shirley, Angelina, and Dido of course!). Hope y’all are enjoying your weeks. I know I am since I’m — you know — doing jack all week (though I did bake cookies today for a friend, so not a totally wasted day)!

Slainte.

“Well I aint thirsty no more
I’ve gone beyond that thirst
And the tears I cried for you, all gone dry”
~The Refreshments – “Tributary Otis”

Finished and posted – 6:56 PM 7/6/2005 GMT

3:51 AM 9/19/2005 GMT (Monday)
7:51 PM 9/18/2005 AZT (Sunday)

HOLY FINISHED DISSERTATION, BATMAN!

I’m done! My good good God. Never thought I’d see the day. You might notice that it’s a lot later than I said it would be when I finished. Well, Sunday morning at about 8am I gave up. I was at 9,800 words (I had taken a whole section out right after my previous post) and just could not think of anything else to say. It was ugly. So I gave up. I went to sleep for about 4 hours. Got up, watched some TV. Tried to print out Elise’s dissertation. Discovered I was out of ink (eek). Went back to sleep from 6pm until almost 12am (I had planned on sleeping the night through, but my body had other ideas). Got up, watched some more TV. Had a late dinner of rice and brownies (I’ve been living like a monk so haven’t been to the grocery store for over a fortnight . . . despite the fact that I can see it out my bedroom window). Sat back down to edit and discovered that at some point my brain had come up with more things to say. So now here I am three hours later. I once again rewrote a decent sized section and added several paragraphs elsewhere.

I’m happy. Tomorrow I buy more printer ink; get Elise’s and my papers printed up; get Braden’s, Elise’s and my papers bound and turned in; buy myself a paperback novel because I’m more or less forgotten what they look like!

Take care everyone. Soon Ash Rhodes.com will be suffering a major change because I’ve been informed that the code massively malfunctions when viewed with IE (yet it passes W3C validation . . . how weird is that?). We’ll have to see what new and trippy design I can think up!

Slainte.

“So don’t try to deny it pretty baby,
You’ve been down so long you can hardly see
When the engine’s stalled and it won’t stop raining
It’s the right time to roll to me”
~Del Amitri – “Roll to Me” – Glasgow band!

Finished and posted – 4:12 AM 9/19/2005 GMT

1:56 AM 9/18/2005 GMT (Sunday)
5:56 PM 9/17/2005 AZT (Saturday)

Well isn’t this cozy?

So here I sit at almost 2 in the morning typing on my computer. It could only mean one thing. That’s right, I’m writing my dissertation! In fact, you may very well be thrilled to know that I’m actually almost done with my dissertation! Huzzah! I’m sitting at almost 9000 words and I still need to write a mini-chapter on the Aftermaths of the battles of Alexandria and Agincourt and then there’s always the Conclusion. Between the two of them I should be able to squeeze out another grand of words. Here’s hoping at least.

I just popped open a can of Red Bull and have already declared that I’m not going to bed until this thing’s done. That way I’ll be able to sleep in guilt-free tomorrow. Maybe even go see a movie or something. Then tomorrow night I’ll start some editing and finish it up on Monday. Then I figure I’ll drop Braden’s, Elise’s, and my dissertations off at the copy place for binding, hit the gym while it’s still free, then pick those badboys up and turn them in (possibly even a day early, shock of all shocks!).

I’m of course way ahead of myself and still have some finishing to do. I don’t think words express how happy I’ll be to see the the arse of this thing. On that note, sitting here allows me lots of time to daydream (when I’m staring at the screen with no idea what to write). I’ve decided that I’m going to spend at least some of my last few weeks here going around Scotland on a photo-trip. Just me and the camera. Maybe I’ll even get a few good shots for once! Yeah, it’s not quite as fun as a backpacking trip across Europe, but it’s cheaper! . . . oh wait. No it isn’t (stupid film processing costs). Well, at least it doesn’t involve weeks at a time on my own in countries where I don’t speak the local languages!

Slainte.

“O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variabilis,
semper crescis
aut decrescis;”

“O Fortune,
like the moon
you are changeable,
ever waxing
and waning;”
~Carl Orff – “Carmina Burana” – “Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi” – “O Fortuna”

Finished and posted – 2:09 AM 9/18/2005 GMT

1:49 AM 9/13/2005 GMT (Tuesday)
5:49 PM 9/12/2005 AZT (Monday)

Ever so sorry.

I’ve been making small tweaks to this site over the past few weeks and the tweaking will undoubtedly continue . . . mostly because I really hate the way this thing works right now. What I’d ideally like is for the window in which you are reading this right now to adjust size based on the length of the document showing within it. That way I could just have a single scroll bar on this page rather than the stupid double one that we’re stuck with at the moment. Ugh. Drives me crazy and I wrote the code for the damned thing!

And in other news I’m trying desperately to write my dissertation and am very upset by my lack of progress. It’s so disgusting how badly I’m doing that I’m not even going to give details. Just rest assured that it’s bad and if I pass it’ll only be because the graders have taken pity on me. But I’ll take their pity if it’ll give me a degree!

Slainte.

“Call me irresponsible.”
~Frank Sinatra – “Call Me Irresponsible”

Finished and posted – 1:57 AM 9/13/2005 GMT

12:29 AM 9/9/2005 GMT (Friday)
4:29 PM 9/8/2005 AZT (Thursday)

You can take your doctorate and shove it!

I’ve wanted to have a PhD for as long as I can remember. Seriously. At least since the beginning of highschool (so at least a decade). Everyone always told me that it would be lots of hard work, but I don’t think I really believed them. Academics had always come easy to me all the way through primary and secondary education and into college. By the end of my stay at the UofA though I had experienced truly difficult classes that I had to work hard at to even pass much less excel in. Still, I thought I’d be able to at least stick with my education because it was what I wanted. I jokingly told people it was because I wanted to make my granddad (Dee) call me “Doctor” just once . . . this is before he died of course at which point the joke rather lost its amusement factor.

Now I’ll say to one and all that you really can just shove all that. It is really not going to happen and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I sit here and look at my very good friend Chris Bowles and see what he’s going through trying to get his PhD done all the while trying to figure out what he’s going to do with his life because there are no jobs in the United States for Archaeologists with a speciality in Late Roman/Early Medieval British Identity to be found, and I just have to say “is it really worth it?” The dude is bloody brilliant and has written 300 pages of a thesis that must be good since I don’t understand a word of it and he’s still horrified that he may not even pass! What kind of a life is that, I ask you?

So those of you who may not have gotten the not-so-subtle hints previously that I would be ending my academic career once I’ve (finally) finished my dissertation, let me say it plain: I’m outa here!

That’s not to say I’ll never step foot in a classroom though. I quite fancy officially learning all about the photography that I’ve been loving so much. Is it too late to become an artiste?

Slainte.

“Through all the streets ours ran; they slaughtered, slashed and killed – why, twenty thousand Saracens or more they finished off!”
~Guillaume de Machaut – La Prise d’Alixandre, pp 75 – ‘Cause if I have to read this crap then so do you!

Finished and posted – 12:48 AM 9/9/2005 GMT

4:44 PM 9/6/2005 GMT (Tuesday)
8:44 AM 9/6/2005 AZT (Tuesday)

Why I don’t write in advance.

Lauren Smithson is the perfect example as to why it doesn’t pay to start early at any endeavor. She came to Glasgow already knowing what she was going to write her dissertation about and began researching said topic some time in November. She’s back in town for a week to meet with Strickland (which isn’t going to happen BTW, due to his being out of town), is sitting at about 17,000 words, and is still worried that she isn’t going to finish by her due date of September 30th.

The lesson to be learned? You start early, you just end up working harder. Yeah, I’m stressed and am going to have to work like a madman for the next fortnight, but at least I’ve not been doing it for the past 10 months nor am I going to have to cut my paper down by at least 5,000 words (and even money says she’s just as stressed as I am!).

In other news, BBQ today over at Chris’, so I better get my trousers on and get moving. Got an awful lot of dead flesh to buy before the festivities begin. And those who are curious, my last night at Jinty’s was truly awful. But at least it’s over and that’s all I care about. I’m never going to have to babysit this particular set of drunks ever again!!!! Yay!

Slainte.

“That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Get your money for nothin’ get your chicks for free”
~Dire Straits – “Money for Nothing”

Finished and posted – 4:54 PM 9/6/2005 GMT

5:48 PM 9/2/2005 GMT (Friday)
10:48 AM 9/2/2005 AZT (Friday)

A bit of a change.

You know me, always trying to better myself and my own surroundings. Ah, hell. Who am I kidding? We all know that anything is better than writing dissertations. So I’ve completed the first of what will likely be several changes for this website. Now you don’t have to go digging to find my blog. It’s right here on the front page. It’s really the only reason for this page anyway, so why not just have the most recent entry sitting there staring at you?

In other news, the University of Glasgow sucks at maths too. I got both my papers back from earlier this summer. They’re not the best grades in the world, but I passed and that’s what matters. One of them however intrigues me. They do this double grading thing where they get someone from outside the Uni to check to make sure the standards are high enough. Dr. Strickland was my prof for the Agincourt paper and gave me a 68% (well into “pass” territory) whereas the external examiner gave me a 62% (not nearly so good). Instead of getting a 65%, I got a 63%. I know it’s only 2 percentage points, but it’s still pretty rubbish if you ask me!

Tonight marks the last Friday of my career as a Door Steward for Jinty McGinty’s. I’m excited to be done with it all, though the accompanying lack of fundage is going to put a serious cramp in my travel plans . . . alas! But the paper must be written so these little sacrifices have to be made . . . and this is all without mentioning that once I’m done at Jinty’s, the pool of hot women for me to stare it shrinks drastically. Now that’s something to say “alas” about! Alas!

Slainte.

“Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer. Swab one down, run it through CODIS, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall.”
~Eric Szmanda (as Greg Sanders) – CSI: Las Vegas

Finished and posted – 6:17 PM 9/2/2005 GMT

12:01 AM 8/30/2005 GMT (Tuesday)
5:01 PM 8/29/2005 AZT (Monday)

Because it’s funny.

On my LiveJournal friends list there’s this guy named Darren who went to Uni in Edinburgh last year. He posts a lot and I don’t usually have the time to read them, but today I did. He mentioned that he had Googled his name as “Darren is” and then looked at the results. He suggested we all try. I did, and got the following on the second hit — from a government website no less! Ash is hard, abrasive, mildly corrosive, conducts electricity when wet, and does not dissolve in water (link). I think they captured me rather well, don’t you? Try it yourself.

On another note, Dylan Moran of Black Books fame has proven himself to be one of the funniest men ever thanks to his standup special called “Monster.” I think I woke the neighbours with my undignified guffawing!

Slainte.

“What a lovely day. The trees are singing, the birds are swaying.”
~Dylan Moran (on waking up still drunk the next morning, thinking you’ve avoided the hangover) – “Monster”

Finished and posted – 12:12 AM 8/30/2005 GMT

12:17 AM 8/29/2005 GMT (Monday)
5:17 PM 8/28/2005 AZT (Sunday)

TV shows into movies. Sometimes it actually works!

Aren’t you the good weans for waiting so patiently for my reviews! You were so good, you get two for the price of one! Let’s dispense with the pleasantries and jump right in, shall we?

Serenity. Chris and I voyaged into Edinburgh to catch the International Premier of this movie last week. As I knew I would, I loved it . . . but rather like my parents’ love for me, it’s not an unconditional love. There were aspects to Firefly which stopped it from being merely good and made it incredible. Some of these little things were missing. Allow me to enumerate.

First, there are the quips. Called “Joss-isms” by Buffy fans, Joss Whedon shows are famously full of one-liners which can seriously impair your ability to breathe due to excessive laughing. According to his interviews, Mr. Whedon wanted Firefly to be a drama but had to put in the comedy to sell it to Fox (who promptly sabotaged the show anyway). I’m guessing he just decided to yank most of them for the movie because, while it was funny, it didn’t even come close to the levels of the show.

Second, there’s the cinematography. Fans of the new version of Battlestar Galactica will be familiar with the “sloppy” method of filming (lens flares aren’t edited out, focusing and zooming is off center at first, etc). Firefly did it first, but as I recall it was missing entirely from Serenity. This makes Ash sad.

Third, no song. Seriously. The opening theme was one of the best parts with words written by Whedon himself. Come on!

And finally, ———————-. Sorry, you don’t want to know. Total spoiler which I won’t give away. You’ll just need to go see it.

---

The Dukes of Hazzard. Now you can say what you want about the original series (as long as it’s complimentary because The Dukes rocked!), but I admit that I was really reluctant to even see this movie remake. I’m not a fan of Johnny Knoxville (Luke Duke), and I detest Jessica Simpson (Daisy Duke), but the prospect of car chases, moonshine, and . . . well . . . Daisy Dukes was enough to get me to the theatre. Man am I glad I went!

The original Cooter is apparently boycotting this new movie because it lacks the “family values” that the original had. I personally think that’s unfair, especially since after watching re-runs of the original over the past few weeks I’ve not really seen any family values in the first place! Daisy was always too sexy for her own good. Bo and Luke were always just a little bit stupid and a lot bit casual with the law. And Uncle Jesse was always a moon-shiner . . . if a moon-shiner who’s no longer allowed to make moon-shine. Let’s face it. The whole show was just an excuse for car races and Daisy. This remake has all those things only more-so. The car races are so exciting that I seriously have every intention of taking stunt driving courses when I move home, and Daisy. Oh, Daisy. I am fully and completely in love with a fictional character. I’m not talking Simpson who is still a simpering idiot. No, I mean Daisy Duke with her no bull-shit attitude and quick thinking (and body that won’t quit . . . of course).

Oh, and one other thing. The Dukes of Hazzard was directed by one of my favourite directors, a guy named Jay Chandrasekhar. You might know his work from directing several episodes of “Arrested Development” and of course the movie Super Troopers. Watch for several appearances by his comedy troupe “Broken Lizard” and even a re-creation of the opening scene from Super Troopers (with him as a campus cop rather than a State Trooper). I thought I was going to pee myself from laughing so hard!

So to sum it all up. Serenity really did rock, at least I think it did (did I mention that the movie started so late that Chris and I had to leave before it was over so we could catch the last bus to Glasgow?). The Dukes of Hazzard rocked the Kasbah and I can’t wait to see it again (and am currently in the market for a copy of the soundtrack and a poster of Daisy Duke).

Long ol’ post, but I was bored. Deal with it!

Slainte.

“Why are divorces so expensive?”
“Why?”
“‘Cause they’re worth it!”
~Willie Nelson (as Uncle Jesse) and Johnny Knoxville (as Luke Duke) – The Dukes of Hazzard

Finished and posted – 12:52 AM 8/29/2005 GMT