Ash the Mighty

One of major selling points about my employer is the amazing (and I do mean Ah-Maze-ing) health benefits which are offered through the company, virtually free of charge. It’s through Blue Cross/Blue Shield and the things that we get, I truly shudder to think of how much they must cost my employer. Because seriously, wow.

And yet I hardly ever use this outstanding insurance (other than my monthly prescription for my migraine meds . . . which is plenty).

Why? Because big, burly, has-been-known-to-actually-walk-through-ghettos-because-it’s-shorter Ash is fucking TERRIFIED of doctors.

Like for realz. Hospitals are where people go to die. And doctors. Well, doctors know fuckall.

That said, I’ve been really sick recently. To be precise, I’ve been mentally ill for pretty much ever, I’ve had physical ailments for years, I’ve had a sinus infection for probably a few months, and I’ve had a chest cold for about two weeks. I thought I had kicked the cold and could go back to just ignoring the rest of it like I always did when I woke up a couple of days ago with my whole face a mass of pain. It felt not only like the sinus pressure and pain had gotten worse, but like the infection had probably spread into my jaw or something (which is likely, to be honest).

SO, I bit the bullet and called my doctor’s office . . . which was of course closed. Keep in mind I wake up for work at 7:30pm. So I suffered through it all until yesterday morning when I could make an appointment and sneak in to see my Doc.

Now there’s not THAT much about this doctor that makes him so very much better than any other, except that he’s an actual human being. I like this. I approve. When I first started seeing him and told him I knew I was fat and he didn’t need to belabor the fact, he didn’t. We talk music. A LOT. He dresses . . . well he dresses so much better than any straight man I know I sometimes wonder, but hey, you know I don’t judge. And what’s more is when I got sick two years ago BADLY with whatever the hell it was, he actually tried to help me figure it out and when my work gave me the run around with FMLA he got on the phone with the HR department personally and stood up for me. This was awesome.

So the Doc takes one look up my nose, swears and says that he’s shocked I’m even upright due to the massive infection raging in my skull. And then he sits me down and doesn’t so much offer as informs me that it’s time I go on to some blood pressure medication. This . . . this is not something I was thrilled about. I’ve always known it was coming. I come from a long line of high blood pressure (thanks MOM AND DAD!!) and my sister just had to give birth to a two month preemie baby because of high BP, but it’s still not something I want to do.

I let him write me the script though. I know that I’ve been known to be . . . well some less-than-charitable souls might describe me as “stubborn.” But I still recognize that maybe dying of a heart attack at the age of 30 might suck. So, let’s take his stupid pills. Let’s cut down on the salt (and apparently pseudophedrine? Really?!). I already have cut way down on things like fast food and crap like that. But caffeine? ALCOHOL?! FUCK. YOU.

There’s living past 30 and there’s wanting to live past 30.

~Ash.

I’m not saying that I actively despise flying, but that’s only because I’m sitting here hoping to be able to do so in the very near future and I don’t really want to piss off whichever god happens to preside over heavier-than-air travel (and yes, there MUST be a god of it, because I still maintain that it just shouldn’t be possible). But I will say that I would rather be pretty much anywhere else at this moment, up to and including seeing a doctor . . . and we ALL know how much I enjoy those.

Why do I hate it so much? Well besides the afore-mentioned fact that it just shouldn’t work, there’s the fact that it frequently DOESN’T. I’m not talking about planes falling out of the sky or anything (though that happens too, and I’m not thrilled about it). I’m talking more about the alarming regularity in which travelers (you know, just like me) find themselves stranded in random airports all across the country/globe, with nothing to do but sit in incredibly uncomfortable plastic chairs and just kinda stare at each other.

Now I admit that it’s hard to place blame on any human the issues that we’re having here. Parts of Colorado have had in excess of 30 inches of snow in 2 days, and so it’s hard to keep an international airport open and functioning at capacity in those circumstances. That said, the woman who is sitting next to me had her flight routed TO here from their original layover destination of Las Vegas. Just checked the weather, there are no issues there. I mean, it could be there were security or other unknown issues with that airport, but really? REALLY? When there’s a state-closing blizzard going on that is stranding people and canceling flights? You re-route here?

OMFG. A woman just carried a monkey onto an airplane. No, I’m not kidding.

OK, I’m done. This day just got way too insane. Just. Wow.

~Ash.

There are all sorts of reasons, even some good ones, for people not doing their jobs. They’re being inundated with work (maybe other people aren’t doing their own for example), they’re untrained, circumstances beyond their control are causing their own jobs to be impossible to be completed.

But when it’s just flat out NOT. GETTING. DONE . . . Makes an AshMonster see red.

Now two things have happened recently which makes me a little angry. One happened to my dear friend Meggan, and it’s something that isn’t entirely the other person’s fault, and it’s something that actually happened to me as well, for all that I didn’t blog about it. For the last week, Meggan and her family (including her darling newborn, Ruby) were in Hawai’i for the Ironman Triathlon finals which her father was competing in. When trying to return home, her flight was delayed by over 24 hours, and she was told she would need to sit in the VERY warm airport lobby with a small baby. This. Just. Doesn’t. Work. Like I said, this exact thing happened when my family was in Hawai’i two years ago and they similarly just kept us there despite knowing it would be HOURS. If you know of this delay, you arrange a cheap motel or SOMETHING. If there’s a small child, you DEFINITELY figure something out. Don’t just shrug your shoulders, you heartless cows.

Then there’s me. I can’t get into TOO many of the details because it’s work related, but suffice to say I will not be spending ANY money for the next two weeks due to a paycheck SNAFU, at which point I will get a HUGE one. Has there been an apology? No. Was ANYONE prompt in addressing the situation? No. Did anyone even address the situation at all until I went in and raised hell four days after I originally pointed out there was a problem? Um, no. I was of course livid and am only slightly less so now. Really . . . it’s a timecard. It’s NOT that hard to mess up. I ensure I punch in and out. You just have to ensure that it’s not been messed up in any other way, people.

SO ANYWAY. That’s just some of the hi jinks that ensue when unmitigated incompetence is allowed to roam free. So please, lock up your incompetence. The person it hurts may be someone you love.

~Ash.

Apparently Southwest has pulled their heads out of their collective asses.

Several years ago, when the gas crisis (read: most recent gas crisis) began, the airlines began charging extra fees in order to defray the costs of the baggage. When the cost of fuel went down however, the fees did not disappear, and what’s more, fees continued to appear for other sundry items which had never existed before.

Finally an airline has, with more than a little shameless self-aggrandizement begun to allow bags to “fly free.” So, any time when I can, even if it costs a little extra, I am going to give my money to Southwest Airlines.

Because I vote, and if necessary, I vote with my wallet.

~A.

If you are requiring people’s help. If you are relying on other people’s good will and their desire to help you. Be nice to them. If you can’t be nice, be civil. DO NOT call them children. DO NOT call them retards. DO NOT accuse them of incompetence in any way whatsoever because if you do, they will stop wanting to help you. They’ll still do it, but they won’t go out of their way anymore, and believe me when I say that a lot of time your stupid and insignificant problem WILL require them to bend the rules for you . . . and if you piss them off then they have no reason to do so anymore . . .

Just a warning.

~Ash.

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