There really isn’t. Had a pretty awful week, and I would be happy that it’s over, but this will be the first of what will no doubt be many weekends in which I don’t actually rest, but rather work even harder for my dissertation.
A run down:
Monday, bad things with Meg. Not anyone’s business. But it was bad.
Tuesday, a full day of presentations. Mine went OK, I guess. About 12 or 13 minutes I’m told. Got a 16 on the whole thing, which isn’t bad, but isn’t great either. Also redesigned the blog system after I got finished breaking Meggan’s heart.
Wednesday, more bad things with Meg. Again, not anyone else’s business. If you’re in the loop great. If not, bugger off. Also drank myself stupid with the third years who were celebrating being done with exams. Helps with the guilt.
Thursday, meeting with Driscoll. Didn’t technically pass the year. Allowed to write the dissertation, but have to get VERY good grades to even be at the point where they can round up to allow me to get my MPhil. This is what happens when you don’t get people their grades for a whole semester . . . oh, and when you put someone in a programme they care less than nothing about.
Friday, trying to make plans for the castle-viewing trip for tomorrow. Not exactly dreading it, but I’m so burnt out and un interested because of just non-stop nerves and general unhappiness, that I just want a day or two to do NOTHING and be a bum. Is that too much to ask on a summer break? Apparently.
That pretty much brings things up to now. Maybe Meg and I will manage to sort things out. Maybe not. I hope to make things work if for no other reasons than she’s my best friend who I love, and I don’t want to see her in pain. Me being an asshole and just generally damaged, likely beyond repair, doesn’t really help matters though.
That’s me. I’m gone.
“I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah”
~Leonard Cohen (performed by Rufus Wainwright) – “Hallelujah”