My cousins just ROCK.

Very early Tuesday morning (about 2:45 am) I get a text message on my mobile. I had stayed up late chatting with a friend of mine named Bob, so I just ignored it. But then I got another one and finally dragged my ass out of bed to see what the commotion was. There was a text each from my brother and my sister, both basically saying “You need to call me ASAP.” Oh shit. I was so certain that something had happened to my parents or something. So I immediately call Amy but no answer. So I call Spencer who in a total deadpan voice tells me that I need to call our cousin Travis. No explanation why. Just “you need to hear it from him.” O-kaaaaay.

So by now I’m certain that Travis’ wife Rosey (or is it Rosie? You know, I don’t think I’ve ever found out) has been in an accident or something. I call him and find out that it is indeed about Rosey, but nothin’ bad. Instead, apparently Travis and Rosey were having dinner at TGIFriday’s and were just finishing when who should be sat next to them but the person widely known as the EDB. Yep, Carly. She was with a guy (there is apparently some question as to whether or not it was Jason — her new beau and [ex] friend of mine — but I’m inclined to think so), and it seems that Rosey just wasn’t able to let an opportunity such as this one pass her by. Travis tells me that Rosey stood up, went to stand in front of Carly, and proceeded to basically spit in her face. I wish I could have been there as Rosey told my ex-wife exactly what she thought of her. Some topics apparently touched upon: The definition of love and marriage (Carly doesn’t know it), the way to treat a person (Carly didn’t do it well), and the way to behave towards a body of people who had done so much for her (namely my family, and you’re not to divorce their son/grandson/cousin/nephew with absolutely no explanation). Carly retorted with some brilliant statement like “well I thought you would split up first, so you win” (what a comeback!) and then told Rosey that she was being inapropriate and should leave. “We are leaving. And you’re not worth our time.” I knew there was a reason I approved of this girl!

This is what Travis related back to me. I have the sneaking suspicion that he had some choice things to say to her as well, but was too modest to speak of it. I’ve been thinking a lot about this for the past few days. And I gotta say that since it was totally inevitable that someone would run into her eventually, I’m really glad it was Rosey. I don’t know that anyone else would have had the guts to just rip into her and say what everyone would want to say but wouldn’t.

And now the final point to all this is a thank you to my cuz and cuz-in-law. Not for saying things to Carly or anything. But simply for being you. Trav, we’ve had our differences over the years, but I’ve always known that I could depend on you to stand by me. And here you did. That takes a lot and I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. You guys really do just rock.

Slainte.

“Cheap shot hocked straight to the ear drum
Is it some sick sign of affection?
Violated and singed with deceit
Disgust from my head to my hands to my feet”
~Eve 6 – “Showerhead”

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