I know that stress is sometimes a good thing. It lets you focus in on what needs to be done in a way that nothing else can. If however the stress is too overwhelming, then it can end up doing a whole lot more harm than good. Take me for example. Up until a few hours ago, I not only had an important Latin test tomorrow, I also had to attend an all-day conference wherein I was meant to present a paper, after which I had to go to work to pull a full shift. My trip to the doctor’s office a few days ago changed that for me, happily enough. You see, I don’t much like doctors (nor do I like injections of any sort), but I was told by any number of people that I had to get a tetanus shot before I developed some sort of lockjaw. Well, I went in and now won’t be getting tetanus any time soon (nor will I apparently be getting dyptheria either . . . which is comforting I suppose. Seems they now combine injections, so there are any number of things I’m innoculated against!). While I was in, the doc asked me all about my mental state (which admitedly wasn’t too good) and came to the conclusion that I have Blahdy Blah. I can’t remember what he said. I do remember him explaining that it’s basically “Post Traumatic Stress Lite.” It explains why I keep having problems sleeping, why I’m prone to shaking and twitching these days, and why I’m experiencing low-level agoraphobia. He also said it’s temporary and should wear off fully in another week or two . . . which is again comforting, I suppose.
So I was trying to not let this affect me any more than it had to. It was still getting the better of me, though. As of last night my paper still wasn’t even close to the preferred 20 minute mark and the Latin test was looking more and more like a joke without a punchline. So, I sent off an e-mail to my course convenors explaining the situation. Turns out the second of them, Katie, wasn’t fully aware of how bad things were (I doubt Simpson was really aware either). She sent me back an e-mail almost immediately in which she pretty much insisted that I should put off one or (preferably) both of the things due tomorrow. I gave it a thought, and after finding out the specifics involved in both, decided to give them a miss. Let me tell you, the weight that is off my shoulders now is so amazing. Other than a few more class meetings and a total of 6 shifts at work, I’ve got no responsibilities at all until January. All I have to do is get myself to the airport so that I can fly home and enjoy two weeks of blissful relaxation among friends and family. I can’t even tell you how good this feels!
That’s me for the time being. Even though I’m not presenting, I still need to be there tomorrow for everyone else’s presentations. Some of them I’m really really looking forward to. Need to get my beauty sleep, if at all possible!
“With love we sleep, with doubt the vicious circle turns and burns . . .
I believe in love too real to feel”
~10,000 Maniacs – “Because the Night”