So.

So.

What to say, what to say. Well, very few people get all their news Ash from this source these days, but I still need to put an update up here.

I don’t even know how to say it, but my dearest and deepest friend who hasn’t become part of my family has suffered a tragic loss, and while I might overuse this term I feel, it is appropriate. I have been bleeding for her. My dear sweet Meggan, who was due in a few days, lost her baby last week. The details are morbid and not something that need to be shared, but she is one of the strongest women I know and so is recovering bit by bit. I’m happy to say that her husband Reuben has been incredibly supportive of her during this horrific time and I only wish that I could take away her pain. That I could do anything for her.

I wish this was some sort of elaborate hoax. It’s been an utterly and completely devastating week . . . more than I would have ever thought it could have been. Instead of being able to provide any sort of help to my oldest female friend, I have found myself constructively sitting at home alone a lot. Drinking. Well, not entirely alone. I’ve had a lot of friends drop by and check up on me, especially at first. They’ve been really great. At first work was looking like they were gonna be a great big pile of douche but then they turned themselves around and ended up going waaaay above and beyond what they had to in any way, shape or form, and as such I’ve been given more time to spend with my one true friend, intoxication.

I just wanted to thank a few people specifically. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a complete mother fucking mess and it is happily past noon so after sending this I feel fully justified in going to get a drink (I’ve been sober for two days so you can all go fuck yerselves). But nonetheless there are several people who have been amazing and I wanted to mentioned them. First off, I wanted to thank and of course give my deepest of sympathies to my Meggan. I weep. Then there’s the Powell who understood me enough to know that when I said “I’m fine,” I wasn’t fine so off to the bar we went. New friend Lynette who brought booze over and drunkenly watched bad teen movies with me at ridiculously early hours of the morning. Pete, who said his first Hail Mary in Latin in over a year as a favour for me. I know how hard that must have been for him, and I don’t know if he understands just how much I appreciate it. My folks have also been amazing in helping me realize that it’s OK to in fact mourn. I’m not so good with that sometimes. Oh, and Bowlesie, who wrote me out of the middle of nowhere, concerned about me. Because that kind of personal history bloody rocks. And finally Sarah. Just Sarah.

Sounded like a bloody Oscar’s acceptance speech. But I’m just grateful to these people, and if I don’t write it down here, where else?

~Ash.

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