But who cares, right? Everyone knows that Green Apple skittles are way better.

That was a TEST!! If you didn’t just have a violent reaction of shock and horror bordering on the physical and nearly throw whatever device that you are reading these words off of out of the nearest window, then we are no longer friends and I invite you to discontinue following this blog.

Good day, sir and/or madam.

I SAID GOOD DAY.

Phew.

OK, now that we have been ridden of the Philistines amongst us, I will continue.

Where was I?

Oh yes.

*ahem*

OMG LIME SKITTLES!!

Earlier today needed (I’m telling you needed) a break from work, so I braved the Phoenician summer sun and walked down the road to a Circle K. I usually just buy a pack of gum in such situations, but this time I felt the need to cheat a bit and so perused the rest of the candy aisle.

And there it was.

skittles
The front isn’t exciting or anything. Honestly, who cares?

Skittles Orchards isn’t exactly descriptive, but as the despressingly front-and-obvious nutritional information says, it’s “what’s inside” that counts:

Apparently lots of yellows and reds and almost no greens. Isn't that always the way?
Apparently lots of yellows and reds and almost no greens. Isn’t that always the way?

What we’ve got here are Orange, Lime, Cherry, Red Apple, and Peach skittles.

Lime. Gone from Skittles for years, ever since the Wrigley company decided to take an April Fools Day joke too far and gag us each time we blindly eat a handful of their fruity fake M&Ms (I assume. I don’t know for sure or anything. But seriously, why else would someone do something so terrible?).

I decided to taste each individually. You know, for science.

I’m not going to lie, I was dreading peach as I’m just generally not a fan. After painstaking and thorough research, here are the results (as texted to Kendra):

Cherry: Oh damn. Just exactly like cough syrup. I hope I get high along with fat(ter) by eating this.
Red Apple: Yep. Just like green apple. This would probably taste great if I didn’t associate it with the loss of Lime.
Orange: Weirdly these taste a bit off. I normally love these but . . . I dunno. Meh.
Peach: These are shockingly not awful. I may not have to separate this bag out in to will and will not eat piles (shut up. I don’t do that with normal Skittles. You can’t prove anything. Nobody likes you).
Lime: Jesus, how I’ve missed you, you chemically delicious bastard.

So that’s the story. Lime skittles. Go get them while you can, because who knows how long they’ll last before someone does something silly again. 😦

 

2 comments

    1. It really really isn’t. I’m told a friend brought some back from a recent visit to Paris . . . And now I’m declaring a blood feud over how long it’s taking to get them to me.

      A man has needs, ya know?

      Liked by 1 person

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